I Looked Forward To My 30s Now I Wish I Was In My 20s

ty.chi
3 min readFeb 14, 2024

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In the whirlwind of our 20s, we often find ourselves caught between two conflicting narratives. On one hand, society tells us that these are the years to lay the groundwork for our futures, to be responsible and focused, to build careers and stability. Yet, on the other hand, there's an unspoken pressure to seize the moment, to explore our passions, and to figure out who we are and what we want from life. It's a paradoxical period, where the expectations of society clash with the yearning for self-discovery and fulfilment.

quote written with a typewriter on photocopied paper

Meg Jay, in her book "The Defining Decade," sheds light on the significance of our 20s and the impact they have on our future. She emphasizes that these years are not a throwaway decade but rather a critical time for personal and professional development. However, Jay also acknowledges the importance of exploration and experimentation during this stage of life. She encourages young adults to embrace the uncertainty, to take risks, and to allow themselves the space to figure things out.

Yet, despite Jay's insightful perspective, many of us still grapple with the pressure to have it all figured out by 30. We see our peers excelling in their careers, buying homes, starting families, and we can't help but feel like we're falling behind. We look back on our 20s with a tinge of regret, wishing we had been more focused, more disciplined, more proactive in shaping our futures.

The quote, "Nothing hurts like being in your 30s, And wanting to do over your 20s, When you were busy in your 20s setting up for your 30s," encapsulates this sentiment perfectly. It speaks to the paradox of our 20s, where we're torn between the desire to build a foundation for the future and the longing to live in the moment, to pursue our passions, and to make mistakes.

But perhaps the true lesson lies in embracing the journey, in recognizing that life is not a linear path but rather a series of twists and turns, ups and downs. Our 20s are a time for growth, for learning, for taking risks, and for making mistakes. They're messy and uncertain, but they're also exhilarating and full of possibility.

Instead of lamenting what could have been, we should celebrate the experiences that have shaped us, the lessons we've learned, and the person we've become. We should embrace the contradictions of our 20s, recognizing that it's okay not to have all the answers and that it's okay to stumble and fall, as long as we pick ourselves back up and keep moving forward.

So let's release ourselves from the burden of expectation, from the pressure to have it all figured out. Let's embrace the uncertainty, the spontaneity, the adventure of our 20s. Let's trust in the process, knowing that each step we take, each decision we make, is leading us closer to where we're meant to be.

In the end, it's not about reaching a specific destination but rather about the journey itself – the highs and lows, the triumphs and setbacks, the moments of joy and moments of heartache. Our 20s may be defining, but they're also transformative, and it's up to us to make the most of them, to savour every moment, and to embrace the beautiful messiness of it all.

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ty.chi

Engineer by day, Lover of writing and music throughout the day, and Fascinated with self development and psychology at night